Montag, 12. November 2012

Not so neutral

I must admit I am not a very safe secret keeper. At least when it comes to my own secrets, as long as they only content good news.  I basically want to shout it out! And it so happend as soon as I knew I was pregnant. A few days later, most of my friends and familiy knew it too. Even at work I didn't manage to wait the full twelve weeks, impossible to me. I really admire people who are able to do so but I don't understand at all how they survive.
So, today at the ultra sound, my wee little baby decided to reveal its gender and I want to tell the whole wide world: It's a girl!!! Honestly, I am so, so happy. I know, I shouldn't mind so much and I do feel sorry for the little boy it could have been also, wondering if I really would have been as happy about him, as I am now.  And I was very sure to get another boy, a brother for Aaron, who would probably have prefered that long term. I should have looked at my knittings of the last month to know better...

I used my best of stash for the first baby projects. The Aviatrix helmet and baby legs are knit with the softest angora wool, hand spun by my lovely sister. The Pebble and the Saartje Booties are from some of the yarn we dyed at the fiber-festival in July and the Puerperium was knit with delicious Noro Silk. If only I remembered where I put the buttons for it...

Now that I know I will start on some dresses and tunics like this one,  my fingers are itching...

I am still confused about my strong feelings towards a girl though. I have always considered myself being rather gender neutral, as in I want my boy to get all the chances there are to learn about football as much as about ballet, to play with dolls and his wooden kitchen as much as with his cars and so on. I am very interested in gender neutral education. There is a kindergarten in Sweden where they take that very serious and talk about the kids not as he or she but using a third, neutral pronoun adopted from the Finish. I read about this kid, Charly, who is raised without the mum anouncing the gender to anyone.  And I am still thinking how much of gender behavior is really genetic. Still, this girl inside of me, knowing I am having the most wonderful boy, made me so very happy. Why does it matter so much to me? I am still looking for answers.


  1. I am so happy for you! Do not bother, I think it is just ok, taht you are happy. I think we all do really want to have a daughter, our little lady. I wish you all the best!

  2. oh gesche!! huge congratulations and hugs!!! you have put into words exact same feelings i had when expecting my own babies. it is very complicated, and the reasoning mind and wanting heart don't always agree.
    it's lovely to have one of each, a boy and a girl, although i've never figured out why it's so. i obviously love and adore both my boys and girls, all the same, but there is something about having a girl, and especially as they are grown now and my best friends. i can talk to my girls about anything (like girlfriends) and the older they get the more we do.
    i am just SO happy for you!! and your knits are adorable. oh the fun you are going to have. take good care!
    love, lori
    p.s. hi aaron big brother!

  3. o schööön:) ich freue mich und deine arbeiten sind wundervoll! ich finde es schön wenn man schöne nachrichten teilt;)

  4. The aviatrix was the first thing I knitted when I found out I was pregnant with this little guy too! :)
    It's strange, isn't it, this thing about boys and girls. There are a lot of girls on my side of the family (as in, three generations of only daughters), so both times I was expecting everyone always thought it's going to be a girl! Even when we found out this time, we were not sure. Of course, now I can't imagine little Batu being anything but himself.
    But maybe one day my boys will have a little sister too? :)

  5. Es ist so hübsch, ich stell mir grad die niedlichen Babys in Deinen Sachen vor...
    ich wünsch Dir ein schönes Wochenende

  6. Eine Tochter zu haben ist wundervoll. Ein Sohn ist es auch ;)
    Ich habe mir auch immer viele Gedanken gemacht über das Aufwachsen meiner Kinder - meiner Mädchen im Speziellen. Und bin erstaunt, wie ambivalent das ganze Großwerden sein kann. Meine Große z.B. spielt fast ausschließlich mit Pferdchen und Bauernhof. Aber bei der Kleidung kann es nicht genug glitzern und prinzessinnenhaft sein. Die zwei kleinen Schwesterchen sind auch recht unterschiedlich (natürlich sind sie noch sehr klein), die eine liebt es mit Puppen zu spielen und zu kochen, während die andere am liebsten klettert und mit dem Papa rauft oder mit Autos herumkurvt. Bin gespannt, wie unser kleine Sohn dann sein wird :)
    Unlängst wurde ich gefragt, ob er "wieder ein Mädchen ist" - und ich hab mich gewundert, warum. Die Frau sagte dann "ja, weil er eine rote Hose trägt". Fast hätte ich mich angefangen dafür zu entschuldigen - im letzten Moment hat sich noch mein Gehirn eingeschaltet und ich hab nichts dergleichen gemacht ;)
    Ich glaub, das wichtigste ist, offen zu sein und zu bleiben und sich vom Umfeld auch nicht verunsichern zu lassen. Ich glaube, man spürt ganz gut, was Kinder wirklich wollen und brauchen oder was wir als Eltern glauben, dass sie brauchen/wollen.
    Alles alles Liebe euch allen. Die Stricksachen sind wuuuuuundervoll. Bald wirst du dein kleines Wunder darin einhüllen können - das ist erst wunderbar :)
    Alles, alles Liebe. maria

  7. Ich freue mich sehr für dich Gesche! Ich glaube auch, dass grundsätzlich die Erfahrungen mit einer Tochter anders sind, als die mit einem Sohn - mag das nun umweltbedingt oder genetisch sein - das schöne für dich ist: Du wirst die ganze Bandbreite der Erfahrungen machen! Ich würde mich auch freuen, sowohl mein Mädchen als auch meinen Jungen zu erleben:) Eine groooße Umarmung für dich!

    PS: Wenn ich deine Stricksachen sehe, dann möchte ich das auch machen und finde es schade, dass du so weit weg wohnst;)

  8. Congratulations! I hope your Christmas was wonderful, and have a great New Year. I hope that you are feeling better than I did with both pregnancies!