I am not exactly known for my patience ususally. The more it surprises me to find myself rather calm and peaceful these last days. Due Date has passed without any exhiting news. Friends and families keep checking, but me, I just try to be still and listen to my body and my child. I feel so certain they will let me know when they are ready for this birth. I am just praying doctors and midwifes will give us the time we need and that I stay strong enough to trust my own feelings as long as possible.
A friend of mine has sent me this picture yesterday by the artist Itaiana Battoni. It was shown via the Mother Health International Faceboook page and said:
"The concept of a 'due' date is something that is very abstract in many cultures. If, like in Uganda, you count a pregnancy by the moons, you end up having a 'due month' and baby comes when she is perfectly ripe without causing mama lots of anxiety."
My children being half Ugandans I found this picture and wisdom so comforting and just the perfect thing to be given on my due date.
The days of the due month are special for sure. Even though it is my second child, each day is spent knowing it could be the last one of my life as I have known it. Something new is coming, someone else who will mix up everything. So there are special moments in every day that I live more aware and present somehow:
This morning, after I came from a doctors appointment I very spontaneously went for a (very short) walk into our nearby forest. There was still ice on the pond, the air crisp and chilly but the sky was blue and sunbeams stroke my face. Almost invisible still, there was the first hint of green around the bushes. But the actual truth was told by all those birds: spring is just around the corner! It was one huge concert and I told my child how wonderful this earth is and that I want to show her all its beauty. What a magical half an hour time a spend there.
Last night I suddenly felt like baking. Something I had not done in quite a while. There was flour, milk and yeast in the house, so I decided on some buns. While the dough rose I thought I should make some special buns, some "due date buns" maybe. So I added some amaranth cerial to the dough with sesame and nuts, something that would keep me going the next days. In my blessing way book I found some simple symbols related to birth and shaped the buns like them. There is the Native American "Wheel of Life" (the round bun with the cross), the Maori "Koru" (the spiral) which symbolizes new beginnings and the Egyptian "Key of Life" that symbolizes birth.
I finished all the planned baby projects, knitting and sewing wise and most of the things I wanted to do around the house so I picked up some old sock project that has been sitting around for far too long. We'll see how far I get this time...
My sister has gifted me to a skein of lovely handspun ocean colored single merino and I am still contemplating, what I should use it for. Any ideas anyone? It is very soft yarn but I am not so sure it will work for a baby project because it seems unwashable without felting to me. I am not sure.
There are many books on my night desk these days. One I have devoured (no photo) by recommendation of Lori is Spiritual Midwifery. Such a bible for birthing really. And of course I could not resist to get the 1000 Days journal by Nikki McClaire for my baby. I hope I will really manage to keep it up for her. Then there is a Doula book and one on my ever so fascinating topic of gender and a few others, I pick a page here and a passage there. Sweet days of due month...