Retrospektive

Dear 2012,

your last days have come. I let you go with mixed feelings. But before all memories are fading within the soup of the last decades I want to seize the hour and spend it with you, dear 2012.

When I will think about you in ten years time, this is what will come to my mind first thing: 

2012 is when I became pregnant with my little girl. Half of it I spend with a second beating heart next to mine, growing ever so fast. What a special year!

You did really well:

Not to listen to the Maya Calendar

I will be forever grateful for this:

You have been very gentle on this little family of mine. Letting us grow and love and live with joy and happiness all year long. What a gift!

The month of  July really was quite something. Because: thats when I found out I was pregnant.

You really exaggerated with:

Natural disasters in other parts of the world.

That was definatly unnecessary:

All that rain during summer!

I will never forgive you:

Personally, I think, there is nothing much I will hold against you.

I still wanted to let you know:

You have really been a good year to us, I feel very blessed and thankful, dear 2012!

Can you please talk to 2013 about:

Keeping things as sweet as they are. That would be lovely. Thanks!

I am remaining with gratefulness,

yours Gesche

______________________________________________________
 
You, dear readers of this blog, are more then welcome to copy the questions of the above letter for your own retrospective of 2012, or to just feel inspired by them, maybe share your answers in the comments, use the letter in your new years celebration with family and friends, change, shorten or extent contents. This is my little gift to you for staying here with me, patiently coming back and letting me know you are still around. You have become very dear to me. Thank you so much for that!

May your days be blessed

The magic of these days

Today I want to share with you a very sweet and special moment that toke place this month in the Cologne central station. It was an extraordiary flashmob, performed by the choir of the local broadcast station WDR. Please, please take your time and watch these three and a half minutes, you will not regret it!

Advento Privato

Yesterday was the most beautiful, sunny day, with all the snow still there, very cold and just so, so pretty. I went to a very special little christmas market, organised by some friends of friends of friends (you get the idea) in a small community garden. They only open this market every two year for one weekend and since I went last time I was looking forward to today so much. Let me give you a little tour and let the pictures do the talking:

Wishing you all a lovely second of Advent!

Getting cosy

Oh, tis the cosy season again. And today, even in Cologne, there is snow, finally! I can't wait to pick Aaron from Kindergarten with the slight later and get out there, show him the wonders of that white, cold, fluffy stuff. There was no snow at all this morning when I toke him there and now it looks like it has snowed since weeks. What else could inspire me more to show you some of the christmas preparations that are going on around here...

Last sunday we lit the first candle of our advent wreath. Even though Aaron didn't quite understand what kept me from lighting the other three candles. He loves candles and never eats his dinner without us having lit the candle at the table first. Sunday was also the day to start with some ginger bread baking, so we could send a batch to Aarons great-grandfather who will spend this christmastime on his own for the first time in decades or even ever.

Aarons cookies turned out very interesting and special, since he always put the outer cooky dough from  around the cutter on the tray. Still I was just happy to watch him being so busy and concentrated, oh they grow so fast...

We also got out the christmas books that I had been collecting throughout the year at fleamarkets and second hand. Mostly old childhood memories for me, I hope I can pass on that joy soon.

And some first decorations were made and hung . I absolutly adore the tissue paper window star in the first picture. There is a great free tutorial here if you want to make your own. So, so simple!

In the night from the 5th to the 6th of December Aaron got a visit from St. Nikolaus who left a little surprise for him at his door that he found in the morning. For some reason Aaron doesn't like chocolate very much, so St. Nikolaus was more generous with other small things and fruits. Good for him...

Oh, this busy, secret season. What a challenge to keep the balance between all the extras, the baking, the crafting, the christmas partys and still find space for the breathing, for smelling and listening. How good, to just watch a candle burning sometimes.

{this moment}

Joining Soulemama today for (this moment): A Friday ritual. A single photo - no words - capturing a moment from the week. A simple, special, extraordinary moment. A moment I want to pause, savor and remember.

Not so neutral

I must admit I am not a very safe secret keeper. At least when it comes to my own secrets, as long as they only content good news.  I basically want to shout it out! And it so happend as soon as I knew I was pregnant. A few days later, most of my friends and familiy knew it too. Even at work I didn't manage to wait the full twelve weeks, impossible to me. I really admire people who are able to do so but I don't understand at all how they survive.
So, today at the ultra sound, my wee little baby decided to reveal its gender and I want to tell the whole wide world: It's a girl!!! Honestly, I am so, so happy. I know, I shouldn't mind so much and I do feel sorry for the little boy it could have been also, wondering if I really would have been as happy about him, as I am now.  And I was very sure to get another boy, a brother for Aaron, who would probably have prefered that long term. I should have looked at my knittings of the last month to know better...

I used my best of stash for the first baby projects. The Aviatrix helmet and baby legs are knit with the softest angora wool, hand spun by my lovely sister. The Pebble and the Saartje Booties are from some of the yarn we dyed at the fiber-festival in July and the Puerperium was knit with delicious Noro Silk. If only I remembered where I put the buttons for it...

Now that I know I will start on some dresses and tunics like this one,  my fingers are itching...

I am still confused about my strong feelings towards a girl though. I have always considered myself being rather gender neutral, as in I want my boy to get all the chances there are to learn about football as much as about ballet, to play with dolls and his wooden kitchen as much as with his cars and so on. I am very interested in gender neutral education. There is a kindergarten in Sweden where they take that very serious and talk about the kids not as he or she but using a third, neutral pronoun adopted from the Finish. I read about this kid, Charly, who is raised without the mum anouncing the gender to anyone.  And I am still thinking how much of gender behavior is really genetic. Still, this girl inside of me, knowing I am having the most wonderful boy, made me so very happy. Why does it matter so much to me? I am still looking for answers.